You Were Meant For Me
by Skittles1
Summary: Vash has disappeared after Knives. Meryl is alone, waiting for his return. If he ever returns. Can she cope with her feelings and come to truth with them? And will Vash be there to see how she feels? A Songfic


Author's Note: A one-shot Vash a Meryl song fic. I don't own Trigun or the song "I Was Meant For You" By Jewel. Please read and review! It takes place after the series. A few spoilers. Enjoy!  
  
I Was Meant For You  
  
By: Lauren  
  
She reached out in her empty bed, dreaming to find his strong, gentle body next to hers. So he could hold her, comfort her from her nightmares, whisper in her ear that he loved her and that he would protect her, that everything would be all right. But she knew it was just a foolish dream, a false hope. He was gone and most likely forever. He had made her do things she never even imagined herself doing. Standing up to a man pointing a gun at her, all to save him. He had her going crazy just for a guy. And it was him. And he was gone. How had she let this happen to her? How did Meryl Strife allow a broom-headed, annoying, weird man find his way to her heart? She had put up so many walls, had worked so hard not allow a man near her. And then he sneaked up on her, taking her completely by surprise and turning her world upside down. Meryl stretched out under her cozy blanket. She glanced at a tiny nearby clock. 6:00 AM. She rubbed her purple-blue eyes, attempting to get the sleep out of them. With a big yawn, Meryl leaned back in her bed, brushing her hands through her short ebony hair. She glanced at the sparse golden rays of sunlight that had mysteriously found their way through her window. She watched the patterns of light dance on her dull, brown bed sheets. Her bed felt so comfy, so warm...just like him. Her mind began to wander, wondering if he would ever return. He disappeared after he went after Knives and Vash hadn't returned yet. Meryl and Milly had both gotten a tiny, neat apartment near the edge of town, waiting for their blonde haired, donut-loving pal to arrive. Meryl knew that Milly missed Wolfwood. At night she could hear her friend calling out his name in her sleep. She worried about Milly but Milly just kept on smiling. It really amazed Meryl and it made her wonder if she could do be like that too. Meryl hadn't really realized she felt anything for the so- called Vash the Humanoid Typhoon. Not until he left and he still hadn't returned. That was when she felt the burning, empty feeling in her heart. When she was with him, she didn't like to say the hard things. And so he left, not knowing her true feelings. But she couldn't think anymore as her door was cracked open and a mop of brown hair popped through the dark opening.  
  
"Morning Meryl!" Milly chirped.  
  
"Morning." Meryl sighed, getting out of her bed and stretching up towards the roof of the room.  
  
"Breakfast is ready!" Milly disappeared down the stairs where Meryl then trudged after her.  
  
"Mmm...smells good." Meryl pulled out a wooden chair and sat down, leaning her head on the hard table. She knew it was cruel to make Milly do all the cooking but she just didn't have much energy lately. Milly sat down a plate of pancakes and eggs in front of Meryl then joined her from across the table, ready with her own breakfast and pudding. Meryl reached out, picking up a heavy bottle of syrup and began to douse her pancakes in it. "I miss you Vash. Are you ok?" She thought to herself. "Hey Milly, I'm not feeling too well, could you call in to work and tell them I won't show up?" She inquired her friend about her part time job at the local bar.  
  
"Sure." Milly agreed, hiding the worry in her big brown eyes.  
  
~*~  
  
I hear the clock, it's 6 A.M.,  
  
I feel so far away from where I've been.  
  
I got my eggs, got my pancakes, too.  
  
Got my maple syrup, everything but you.  
  
~*~  
  
Meryl broke her egg, making the yoke into a smiley face. She chuckled at her goofy food then proceeded to eat in silence. Their place was simple, but nice. It consisted of a porch, a kitchen, two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a living room. Meryl got up, dressing quickly in her normal apparel of her white and black clothing. She washed the bathroom, one of her duties of the day, cleaning the water spots that had collected on the window over the week. She picked up a few wet towels and hung them outside to dry in the gentle breeze. Meryl froze for a moment, letting the wind caress her skin. It made her heart ease for a moment, allowing her mind to stop thinking about him for a mere second. She chuckled out loud, remembering Vash yelling out his motto of 'Love & Peace'. Meryl couldn't stand it anymore, she had to get out and go somewhere. Do something. It didn't matter what but she knew if she stayed cooped up she'd go crazy with heartache.  
  
"Milly, I'm going to go for a bit ok!" Meryl called to her friend who was preparing for her daily work at the town's local well.  
  
"Ok! Get me some pudding!" Milly shouted back as she left for work, her last comment bringing a smile to Meryl's face. "And lock the door when you leave!"  
  
"Sure." She replied before locking the door behind her and walking down the dusty dirt road.  
  
~*~  
  
I break the yolks and make a smiley face,  
  
I kind of like it in my brand new place.  
  
Wipe the spots above the mirror,  
  
Don't leave the keys in the door.  
  
I never put wet towels on the floor anymore, 'cause  
  
Dreams last so long,  
  
Even after you're gone.  
  
I know, that you love me  
  
And soon you will see  
  
You were meant for me,  
  
And I was meant for you.  
  
~*~  
  
Meryl sat back on the cliff, feeling herself soar above the town as she glanced down at the little ants. They were people but from here, but they appeared to be tiny specks. Then she saw his smiling face right in front of her, almost so real she could reach out and touch him. She could smell him, feel the tender brush of his fingers, his sparkling eyes and his smiling face. Meryl thought to herself. "Some people say that when you fall in love, you know it the second it happens. You feel it so strong it could knock you over, but I say that's a load of shit. When you fall in love, you don't know it at all. It sneaks up on you; starts to grow inside of you and still you don't see it. You don't notice it. The thing you feel, that big boom everyone talks about, that's when you finally realize you're in love. You realize at some random moment that you love this person and that you've loved them for a long time now. When you finally realize that and accept that it's true, it knocks you flat on your ass. It turns your whole world upside down and you don't know what the hell to do anymore!!" Meryl bitterly exclaimed, using a choice of words to show her anger. "So why did I have to realize it after you left Vash!? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! I-I...I LOVE YOU, YOU STUPID CLOWN!" She stood up, screaming her words but they were wiped away with the wind. Meryl kicked a nearby rock, letting it tumble down the cliff. For a moment she pondered about how it would feel is she tumbled down the cliff also. The pain would be nothing compared to the pain inside her heart. But it was selfish of her to think that way; she had Milly to worry about. Meryl strutted down the cliff, unable to sit up there alone anymore. Day after day she found herself not wanting to be alone, she had once heard it was impossible for humans to live alone. She knew she could live alone if she wanted to but her heart would simply grow cold. She just didn't want to live without him. Without Vash. Meryl found herself wandering the city streets now. She had no family to speak to; she couldn't speak to Milly. How could she complain about Vash being gone when Milly's love had been killed? Her friend had enough trouble dealing with the loss of Wolfwood. Meryl had nobody anymore, at least it seemed that way to her. She glanced down at the cup of coffee in her hand, trying to sort out her feelings or what to do but it didn't work. Not a bit. She noticed a newspaper on the table next to her. Same kinds of stories, stories of death and heartbreak. Nothing she wanted to see. She didn't need anymore pain; she had enough of her own to deal with. There were no movies, no plays, nothing she could see or watch or do to keep her mind off of Vash. But it didn't matter because she was too sad to even enjoy it. The thought of a play made her only miss Vash more, thinking about how is entire life seemed like some long, elaborate play. It was as if life set him up for disappointment, one after another. And now she had lost her chance to tell him her feelings. She glanced out the window from the restaurant she was in, watching the cold rain pound into the hard dirt. She loved him. She needed him. She ached for him. And he was gone. A lost void in her body.  
  
~*~  
  
I called my mama, she was out for a walk.  
  
Consoled a cup of coffee, but it didn't wanna talk.  
  
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news.  
  
More hearts being broken or people being used.  
  
Put on my coat in the pouring rain.  
  
I saw a movie, it just wasn't the same.  
  
'Cause it was happy and I was sad  
  
And it made me miss you, oh, so bad.  
  
~*~  
  
Meryl stood up, walking out of the restaurant and into the empty streets. She sat down on a wooden bench, letting the freezing rain penetrate through her clothing and soak her body. It was as if the world was crying along with her. She let the tears fall, letting them blend in with the rain. She was Meryl Strife; she didn't allow herself to cry over a boy. And here she was, everything she fought not to be. But she didn't care anymore, she was sick of holding back feelings, keeping things bottled up, hiding behind her own insecurity. It was just wrong to live like that. Meryl knew the moment she saw Vash, she'd tell him all she felt, no matter what. That is...if she ever saw him again. And a hissing voice inside her head told her she'd never see him. That he left her for his own past. "People always ask who you love or if you even love anyone. Do you want to know what I'd tell them now Vash? I'd tell them this. The one I love is the sweetest and most wonderful person one second and the most annoying the next. He has a sense of humor that makes me always laugh, no matter how weird the joke is. He is as playful as a kid but can be as serious as a wise man. He looks at other woman but I know the only one he truly sees is me. The one I love wears a long, red coat and has shining eyes. The one I love is...gone..." And then Meryl broke into more hot tears, the tears that had been fighting to be free for some time now. "Are you still alive Vash? Give me some kind of sign...something! Please return to me! I need you Vash!!!!" Meryl didn't care that people were staring. Here was some girl sitting in the rain crying her heart out. She knew Vash wouldn't care what others thought of him so she didn't care either.  
  
~*~  
  
Dreams last so long,  
  
Even after you're gone.  
  
I know, that you love me  
  
And soon you will see  
  
You were meant for me,  
  
And I was meant for you.  
  
~*~  
  
Milly walked along the streets. The well could hold out for now, the rain was creating new water from the Earth. It wasn't crying like Meryl thought, it was rejoicing and filling the Earth up with new life, new hope, washing away the pains of yesterday. Then she saw her friend, sitting out in the rain on a bench. You couldn't tell she was crying but Milly could tell by the way her friend was quivering, her body shaking relentlessly. "Oh Meryl..." Milly whispered to herself, knowing Meryl had been hiding and shielding her feelings from everybody. The brown haired woman dropped her tools, running over to her dear companion. Milly wrapped her large arms around her, holding Meryl close to her and rocking her back and forth as Meryl sobbed into her shirt.  
  
"M-Milly I'm s-sorry! I m-miss him! I want him back! Why'd he have to go? WHY?! I want Vash back!! Bring him back to me Milly! P-please...." Meryl screamed at her friend, feeling her weak body slid down the bench and to the muddy sidewalk. Milly sat across from her, still holding onto her carefully. She wasn't going to let. "I s-should have told him how I felt! I should have held onto him before he left! I should have called him mine! MINE!! I want him to be m-mine and o-only mine! I s-should hav..ve..." Meryl cried, her heart full of regret. But her broken words were stopped as Milly gently pushed back her friend.  
  
Milly cut off Meryl's voice as her own boomed out forcefully but softly at the same time. "Stop with the 'should have's'! They're not going to change anything!! All we can do is try to make them better!! What we have to do is live our lives and just be there...Wolfwood taught me that. At first I hated him for going and I was angry, angry with myself for letting him go. Angry at the world from taking him away and all I could do was regret not holding onto him longer. Not letting our kisses last longer but there was nothing I could do. You can't change the past. You can regret it but then move on. It does no good to just regret! You must do everything you can to change it! Be hopeful, maybe Vash will return one day...just h-have hope...." Meryl's tears had stopped but now Milly burst into tears, for she knew Wolfwood would never return. But she wanted her friend to have her love and for Meryl to be happy. She would give up all of her hope to Meryl, no matter what. The two women embraced each other, sharing their pains in the falling rain.  
  
Milly pushed herself up, lifting Meryl up also. "Maybe it doesn't matter what happens, whether you lose love or gain it. Maybe you just get through it. Maybe that is all you can ask for." The two wet girls walked towards there home, a bit of hope radiating from their faces.  
  
~~  
  
Meryl unlocked the door and walked into the house, a tiny smile breaking across her face. Ever so slowly, she was getting through it but part of her was still missing. She knew she was 'complete' without him, no one is ever 'un-complete' they just felt that way. But she still wanted him there with her. Was he dead? Alive? She just wanted some kind of answer. Walking down the hallway towards her bedroom and bathroom, Meryl could hear Milly muttering in her sleep. Milly worked so hard on the well, so she deserved to get a good nights sleep. She knew her friend had left some food out for her when she didn't return home on time. Stepping into Milly's room, Meryl could make out Milly whimpering and calling out Wolfwood's name. Frowning, she pulled up the covers around Milly. Her friend just twisted in the sheets restlessly, it was as if she was having a nightmare. She called out his name again. A blinding light suddenly erupted from the corner of the room. Looking up quickly, Meryl vaguely made out the silhouette of a man. Then she saw his face. It was Nicholas D. Wolfwood. She blinked her eyes and when Meryl opened them again, he was gone. She looked around in disbelief then glanced down at Milly. Milly had a smile across her face as she happily cuddled deep into her covers. Meryl smiled and whispered to Milly's sleeping form. "He's with you even after he's gone." She kissed her friend's forehead then walked towards the door. They were both like sisters in a way now. She shut the door behind her and went into her bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. "You're pathetic, losing yourself over some guy." Meryl hissed at her reflection then brought out her toothbrush. She brushed her teeth quickly, screwing the cap back onto the toothpaste. She thought about what she'd tell Vash if he ever returned to her. Maybe she couldn't tell him how she felt. Maybe she'd slap him or maybe she'd run up and hug him, bringing him into a passionate kiss. Either way, he'd have to be there and that was something he wasn't doing. Meryl switched off the light then jumped into her bed, snuggling into the sheets, wishing it were him she was snuggling into. She still had her clothes on but she didn't care. But he'd be mad at her for carrying on like this. He'd tell her to get out of bed, laugh and smile, eat some donuts and help others. So easy to say and yet so hard to do.  
  
~*~  
  
Go about my business, I'm doing fine.  
  
Besides, a-what would I say if I had you on the line?  
  
Same old story not much to say,  
  
Hearts are broken every day.  
  
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on.  
  
I know you hate it when I leave the light on.  
  
~*~  
  
"V-Vash!!" Meryl screamed out his name as she ran towards his far-off figure. She sprinted, running faster as tears dropped down her cheeks. Vash stretched out his arms to catch her in and hold her tightly, a giant smile on his face. She collapsed against his tall, warm body, sobbing into his chest and she embraced him tighter. She looked up to see his face, to kiss him with everything she had inside of her. And then she froze. Knives stared down at her, chuckling uncontrollably. Behind him Vash's limp body was in a pool of blood. "N-NO!!!!!!" Meryl yelled, her voice ripping out of her body along with her heart. Raven hair was plastered to her face as she jerked up from her sleep. Her body was covered in a thick sweat and her breaths came in rapidly. "J-Just a dream...." Meryl muttered as she shakily stood up, turning her light back on. "I've got to keep my mind off of him....I've got to or else...I-I'll go crazy! Vash you are driving me INSANE! I need you so why are you gone?! Why?" But she ignored her raging thoughts as she picked up a book and pulled her damp sheets down. She took a deep breath, looking around her room. "So this is how it is going to be I guess...Just us girls...alone...forever." Meryl pulled out a pair of pajamas, changing from her wet clothing into the starch blue pj's. She crawled into bed, leaving a tiny candle lit to give her reading light. Meryl sighed, feeling dead inside. She felt like a robot. She got up, went to work then came home, over and over again. Nothing exciting happened, everything just repeated and she went through the process in a daze. "I shouldn't think anymore tonight. It doesn't matter anymore, nothing does. I'm lost without you Vash; I'm gone inside. I might as well be dead." Her laugh came out coarse and dry. Then she turned over in her bed, crying for reasons she didn't quite understand.  
  
~*~  
  
I pick a book up and then I turn the sheets down,  
  
And then I take a deep breath and a good look around.  
  
Put on my pj's and hop into bed.  
  
I'm half alive, but I feel mostly dead.  
  
I try and tell myself it'll be all right,  
  
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight.  
  
Dreams last so long,  
  
Even after you're gone.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Meryl felt the warmth of the sun shining down on her face, causing her jet- black hair to shimmer. She felt better today; something inside of her felt renewed. "I have to see you someday Vash...because I have...a right to dream! So I will dream! I'll dream of meeting you again one day, whether it's in this life or not! I will, I'm not crazy or anything and I will meet you!" Meryl exclaimed to the mirror in her bathroom. She inched closer to the mirror, staring at herself in the eyes. She leaned in closer until her forehead rested against the smooth, cold glass of the mirror. A single tear trickled down her cheek. "I'm going to get on living so when you return, I won't be this stupid wreck that I am right now." Meryl sniffed at her own words, wiping away at the stray tear. "So I'm going to go live now...I'm going...whether you're here or not Vash. Stupid broom-head, leaving me behind like this. You know I love you so get back here so we...can get on living...together!!" Meryl smirked then sighed softly, knowing all her hope was in vain. She began trudging downstairs to the kitchen, sniffing its delicious aroma of eggs and strangely an unfamiliar scent.  
  
"What is that smell Milly?" Meryl yelled at her friend as she proceeded down the stairs.  
  
A laugh could be heard coming from the kitchen.  
  
"If that is supposed to be your answer you better reconsider Milly!" Meryl tiredly hissed at her silly friend, not in a mood for any kind of joke or trick. Then her body stopped; every muscle stiffened, tightened and froze. From her angle on the stairs she could make out two shadows. "M- Milly...who's in there with you...?" Her shaky voice almost whispered.  
  
Another laugh answered her question. Then a male voice spoke. Meryl could tell he was trying to make sure she didn't hear him. "I can see she's still just a stubborn as before. And she still sleeps in until lunch!"  
  
Her eyes widened in shock as her mind connected the voice with its owner. "N-no...i-it can't be! Milly that is a...a sick joke...!" She felt the tears gathering in her eyes as her body gradually allowed her to move again. Not only did it allow her to move; it caused her to tremble as she stepped towards the kitchen again. Then she recognized the strange smell. Donuts. She couldn't resist a tiny chuckle as her mouth spread into a large grin, ear to ear. She knew it was him, it just had to be him. Taking a deep breath, she suddenly ran into the kitchen, screaming out his name in joy. And he was standing there, waiting for her with open arms. Meryl dove into his strong, warm body as she held onto him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against him. She didn't care how he had gotten there, as long as he was there. Milly smiled, letting the two lovers hold onto each other. Vash had shown up early that morning with his unconscious brother, Knives. Milly rushed him inside, allowing him to put Knives in her bedroom. Meryl was asleep and Milly had wanted to wake her up but Vash told her not to. He wanted to surprise her. So they ate breakfast calmly, waiting for Meryl to wake up. And now she was defiantly fully awake.  
  
"VASH!!!" Meryl cried into his chest as he picked her up, spinning her around in a firm embrace. He sat her down, pulling back from her for a second. He stared down at her tear-stained face. With his gloved hand he tenderly wiped away her tears even though he was crying also. Behind them Milly was crying with joy for both of her friends. "V-Vash..." Meryl croaked. "I-I was so worried you dope! Don't do that to me ever again!!! I- I was so scared for you! I...I...I LOVE YOU VASH!!" She muttered the words to him in between cries of happiness.  
  
"I'm sorry I worried you." Vash gave her a large grin and blushed. "I love you too Meryl..." He drew her against his chest again and then quickly leaned down, bringing their lips together in a tender kiss. She closed her eyes and melted into his touch, his lips, his kiss, the burning passion between each other, feeling so comfortable, and so happy with just this. With just him. It was all she ever wanted. She loved him and he loved her. The two were together and that was all that mattered. Nothing at all. He'd always be there for her, a thousand tiny hopes shining in both of their eyes. She was meant for him and he was meant for her.  
  
~*~  
  
I know, that you love me  
  
And soon you will see  
  
You were meant for me,  
  
And I was meant for you.  
  
Yeah, you were meant for me  
  
And I was meant for you. 


End file.
